The bad thing about dating nice guys
Have you found yourself getting friend zoned and rejected? And when you do end up stuck in a relationship with a woman, she ends up being difficult or dysfunctional? Have you found yourself bored and uninspired in your career? And do you hide from the spotlight for fear of taking on too much responsibility? As you reflect on your life, how many times did fear, anxiety, procrastination, and insecurity hold you back? And how many times did you beat yourself up for it? As a recovering Nice Guy myself, I feel your pain. Robert Glover wrote in his groundbreaking book, No More Mr. Nice Guys believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled. I used to hold this belief.
How to Date a Nice Guy
The answers were split down the middle. Half of the recipients used words like considerate , friendly, kind, amiable, generous. The other half opted for dull, unconfident, needy, weak, self-centred , and clingy. The chap always believes he falls into group one. But to the girl, these very same acts make him appear unconfident, weak, and clingy.
They do not connect.
The “Nice Guy” problem plagues millions of men. They hurt Part of the reason why I have no problem dating highly emotional ‘crazy’ women is due to this belief system. I used to be that “Good Guy” or “Jolly Good Fellow” as I like to say.
Suffice it to say that if you actually are one, there’s no need to declare it. Case in point: Redditor Between3and20eh ‘s decision to ask the online community: “Women who gave “nice guys” a chance how did it work out? Was a nice shy guy at first but upon getting into a serious relationship that was just for the public. Behind closed doors was a very insecure person. He had decent looks but was short and skinny with glasses.
I didn’t mind and never used that against him but it affected his confidence and he took it out on everyone else. Even after trying to work on it for months and always reassuring him he ended up cheating on me several times and then hid behind the nice guy victim thing. Went and told everyone that I was out of his league and just using him as a place to live and I had been the one cheating which wasn’t true.
I moved out and got my own place immediately to proceed I could and cut all ties. Went on and on about what a great, compassionate guy he was. He was actually just your garden variety, abusive psycho.
Most Women Don’t Dream of Dating Nice Guys
It certainly is! Neither one is good or bad although it may seem that way. Odds are you either will recognize these characteristics in yourself or someone else. The three main attachment styles are as follows:. Odds are, you have most likely dated people with an anxious or avoidant attachment style. I know I have certainly dated my share!
Helping Nice Guys overcome Nice Guy Syndrome and get more out of life No More Mr. Nice Guy Certified men master their emotions and take action to reach their goals in life, career and dating/relationships. I used to hold this belief.
Being the nice guy also is considered as a guy being stuck in the friend zone. You are here reading this article because you want results on how to stop being a nice guy. In this article, we are going to discuss the common things I see men doing and my clients doing whenever they date a woman that quickly makes you fall into the friend zone and the nice guy trap.
Let me be clear on one thing. If you master this, I know you will have plenty of women at your fingertips! They can finish first so pay close attention to this article as I am going to walk you through how! Well, these are common things that you might be hearing right now and not being able to move forward with women. Do you want lasting results on how to get a woman and be exactly who you are?
The New Nice Guy: How to date and be decent in 2020
Being told you should like a nice guy who you don’t find attractive is the literal worst. I have been on 11 dates 11 DATES with a guy I couldn’t bring myself to kiss more recently than I want to admit because 1 he was really interested, 2 I wasn’t into anyone else was at the time, and 3 I was getting so much pressure from family and friends to just ” date a nice guy already,” after several weird situations with jerks that I wanted to really try with this one. That guy actually was a nice guy — our personalities were just not a fit — but I remembered doing a sneaky sniff test of his shirt and not.
Chemistry is real. I would also advise against dating the ” nice ” guy: the guy who isn’t really nice , but rather is desperate. He wants a girlfriend.
You have listened to her complain about the jerk who treated her badly countless times only to watch her go out with him again and again. All of your selfless acts fall by the wayside only to hear about her mistreatment the following week. When will she wake up? When will she realize that there is a nice guy who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated sitting right here? Appearances can be deceiving, and the nice guy act is one of the biggest deceptions around. On the surface, nice guys appear to be selfless, kind, caring human beings but this is far from the truth.
Beneath their generous acts and humble words lurks something darker. Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority. Nice Guys lack conviction in their opinions or beliefs. Typically they will wait and see what the popular opinion is before taking a stand. If a rift happens in the group they will wait to see who is winning before taking a side.
Nice Guys lack loyalty. They develop a chameleon-like type of behaviour when interacting with others.
Why Women Should Date Nice Guys
That is until I met my current boyfriend. I was addicted to the games. I thought passion came in the form of fighting and tears. Fast-forward to today, and obviously, I was terribly wrong. I had my doubts in the beginning. But they did.
I almost talked myself out of dating a great person because I was not used to their secure style and tips on how to not miss yours. I meet a nice guy and he tells me right away that he had a great time and wants to make plans.
Yet the relationship only gets worse and leads to failure. Why does this tend to happen so often these days? Read on! This is a post that has been long in the making. In fact, I could write a hundred articles on it. If you find yourself extremely frustrating in your intimate relationships, then this article is for you. This truly becomes your life-long struggle. How fun! Trying to reason with your partner when he or she is being irrational is an example of avoiding conflict. I really wish someone would have taught me this truth when I was first learning how to date.
I was always taught by my parents, my church and so on that you must be good and nice to everybody — to put your own needs as a LESS priority to others. And it sucks. My relationships were toxic as hell, the women I dated always left me and so on. You really want to be good to your partner, and as a result you tend to bury your emotions and your feelings.
Why I Don’t Date Nice Guys
One client repeatedly wrestled with this issue. This conundrum commonly led to relationships with struggling musicians and artist types that ended up with her financially supporting them. This was not what she wanted for a long-term relationship. She left each of those situations feeling used and unappreciated. But she was not physically attracted to him. This is a common challenge I hear many women face.
If I date him, within a few weeks or a few months I discover he has the same No matter how wonderful the person, you’re not obligated to be more attracted to him or her than you are. Forcing A client of mine met a man who lives in Europe. Foe example: A woman is hot for bad-boy types and gets used by lots of guys.
The new site update is up! Come on baby, don’t fear the nice guy? I think that I might be sabotaging myself out of dating men who are nice. How can I change this? Snowflakes inside. Pertinent details I’m a woman in her late 20’s, and I am attracted to sarcastic, selfish, unavailable men.